Success is Scarier Than Failure
It's our innate instinct to fear failure, but in all honesty, we're more fearful of success. Here's how you learn to adopt a success-friendly mindset.
Quite often, we define success as a destination rather than a journey. If success is a destination, and you miraculously get dropped off at the foot of your dreams, all you have left is failure. But if indeed, success is more about the journey. Then you're more likely to appreciate and digest the lessons throughout the journey. Fear of success is the concern that once we accomplish something new, we'll be incapable of maintaining it, perhaps feelings or thoughts that you don't deserve what you've "earned" (imposter syndrome) or may struggle because of it.
Awareness
Most of the time, we're not consciously conscious of this fear. That's because when we focus on an end goal, we discuss the positive outcomes of reaching the goal. Rarely do we share with others what may happen when we get to that next level which can all be rooted in the name of self-image.
Sometimes people are conscious of some of these concerns, but many lack vision into the true causes of their self-sabotaging actions. In other cases, working with a life coach can be an effective way to educate yourself to identify and recognize some of the fear-igniting behaviors holding you farther from success. The fear of success can have many ways it manifests.
Here are the main pain points to be aware of:
Procrastination
A person may put off doing a particular task or project, which may cause them to lose the project or make it lackluster.
Avoidance
A person may resort to making excuses or other avoidance strategies.
Trying to be the perfectionist
Holding the perfection standard catalyzes a disappointing outcome—every time.
Giving Up
Some find a way to quit before the goal is presented, repeatedly making them miss an opportunity.
Self-Sabotage
The person may give themselves obstacles that force failure and avoid success.
Why Failure is Easier
When we become afraid of success, we become our own worst enemy, and this enemy is not one we even know exists because we find reasons that have halted or prevented our success which masks us from the truth.
After all, it is easier to fail than to be successful.
That's how we are wired. Failure is easier for our minds, especially when other living needs are met. Instead, your mind would maintain the status quo rather than be in a place of discomfort.
It is also easy to come up with rational reasons for our behavior. With success igniting expectations and accountability, it is important to understand the frameworks our mind goes to when faced with adversity.
Early in childhood, we develop the thought processes that protect us from trauma or complex situations that our early minds cannot fully understand. As we carry this mindset into adulthood, it often holds us back. It keeps us from unlocking our most significant potential, thus making success even scarier because it would mean we would have to change who we are. No one knows better than yourself the experiences, abilities, and powers you have to carry on your success journey. This mindset—that capability, knowledge, and potential can be achieved through effort—is labeled a growth mindset and is an invaluable asset in the startup era.
Here's a primer on the difference between growth and fixed mindsets, why a growth mindset is essential for success, and how you can obtain and maintain one:
Growth vs. Fixed Mindset
A growth mindset means that you accept your intelligence and skills can be developed over time. A fixed mindset suggests that you think intelligence is fixed—so if you're not adequate at something, you might accept you'll never be good at it. Those in the growth mindset persevere when faced with adversity because when faced with it, they resort to their highest efforts to build new skills while finding inspiration. On the other hand, a fixed mindset may avoid adversity in the name of fear, which then triggers quitting. The following characteristics can help you determine which mindset you reside in:
Fixed mindset:
Avoid challenges
Desire to look smart
Effort is fruitless
Fixed capabilities
Growth mindset:
Embrace challenges
Accept criticism
Desires to learn
Build abilities
Considering these characteristics, you may already have a clear distinction about where you reside. Just as someone can expand and develop their intellect, a person can also alter brain functions and thinking patterns.
On the other hand, some individuals think about failure so much that it sometimes consumes their whole life, which paralyzes them from trying new things. To understand this concept, imagine yourself in your ideal position: a perfect career, your dream home, and your dream car. Often than not, it all feels intangible and unrecognizable to the point of catalyzing fear. The concern is that achieving success will come at the expense of something else valued in your life. In many ways, it's similar to the fear of failure. So how do we change that?
Turn all of your negatives into positives
Turn all of the reasons why you can't - into - why you can
Fear of success is a genuine struggle for many. But it's not impossible. The key is to comprehend its origin and work through your mindset framework. That way, your mindset will help you get what you want instead of preventing you from trying.
Setting Goals For Growth
Remember first that success and perfection are not the same things. Succeeding at something does not make you an overnight expert. There are always going to be growing pains.
Setting an internal expectation with yourself that you will keep learning as you succeed at things is a great way to minimize the anxiety that comes with being successful.
This is a tactic you should be implementing if you have thought to yourself the following.
What if I am not good enough when I get there?
What if people...
What if I don't know...
What if they find out I'm not...
These are all statements our mind uses to keep us attuned to things that might eventually cause us some emotional pain.
But these thoughts are not true IF you are not setting yourself up to know everything and be perfect from the start.
Success typically comes through the desire to know more, learn more, and build skills. If one maintains these focuses, then success will occur without pressure. I know from personal experience the goals I have set to accomplish were never, in truth, about the accomplishment but instead about the journey of learning and growing.
This focus has done a few things for my mindset:
1) I feel more confident in myself.
2) I have achieved more than I expected.
3) I continually want to set new goals to succeed further.
This mindset has eliminated failure from the equation, so I don't fear it while at the same time making success automatic without the anxiety and stress that typically comes with being successful.
Listen, none of your progress has to happen alone. I always say that the best of the best work with a coach. So, if you want to be your best, schedule a free meeting with me here.
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